Saturday, December 19, 2015

This man in an Audi parked at Graul's in Ruxton

So I know that it's been awhile, but stuff has been going on, you know?

So now I have the time to revisit this issue about What I Hate About Baltimore.

And today's rant is this guy in an Audi - a ridiculously expensive Audi, parked at Graul's in Ruxton.

Now, I love me some Graul's - sometimes you need a market that can pamper you, and it's all that.

But I pulled into its lot the other day and parked my car in one of their parallel spaces.  Now I am an expert parker when it comes to parallel spaces.  I had two great teachers of parallel parking.  The first is my father, who ran me through the deal every time he took me to his office in downtown Cleveland.  Walked me through the alignment, the wheel cutting, everything.

My second teacher was the city of Washington, D.C.  Folks, parking in DC is sink or swim.  You have to be good at it.  And I got very good at it.

So I get out of my car and it is 6" from the curb.  The people in back and front each have three to four feet from the back of my bumper to the front of there's.  I am equidistant from each of my bumpers to the forward aft lines of my spot.

The the driver of the Audi behind me opens up his door and tells me to move my car forward because I have boxed him in.

So I look.

The man has over three feet between my bumper and his in the front, and about four feet between the tail of his car and the bumper of the suspiciously macho Ford 250 truck behind him.   So I point this out.

He gives me a dirty "Nevermind," and a blow off wave, backs up, cuts his wheels, and pulls out, and drives away, slipping me the finger.

Now, had I pulled up those few inches, because he was "boxed in", then I would have boxed the car in front of me in.   This would have also set me up to be boxed in in the rear because drivers in Baltimore seldom park within the lines.

And the more I thought about it, the more reasons I came up as to why this guy wanted me to move my car for his convenience:

1) He was planning on using the space I took to pull forward when he was good and ready.
2) He was too lazy to turn his head and look to see how much space he had.

And my favorite:  "This is Ruxton, and you are making my life inconvenient."

I think the last reason is it.

Still, it speaks to larger problem.  These idiots who go out and buy these obscenely expensive cars, with all these parking assists - like active backing assists that sound alarms when you get too close to a bumper or object behind you, or the satellite parking assists that park your car for you because you never did figure out how to parallel park like you should of.   Never mind that we have necks that allow us to turn our heads except in cases where we have a legitimate injury of condition.

Now had I parked wrong, if I had parked sloppily. Had I parked in such a way, even, that I would have damaged his vehicle, then yes.  I should move my car and fix the parking as not to inconvenience others.

But I was perfect in my space.

This guy's only problem was that he has too much money and is too lazy to drive his own car.   To fix that, the jerk wanted me to put myself out.

And that is what I hate about Baltimore - people are lousy at parking, and lazy about getting out of their own spaces.

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